What’s your "handicap?"
Reflections from a recent road trip (that included the always challenging job of fighting for a handicap spot in Florida during high season).
Handicap – a disadvantage that makes progress or success more difficult (from Webster’s)
Phoneycap – OK, try me. What in the heck is wrong with you?
Fattycap – No, ma’am. Just ‘cause you’re fat doesn’t mean you can park here.
I’mtooimportantforrulescap – Enough said. Nope, park where you’re supposed to, mister.
Oldiecap – If you’re over 100…maybe…otherwise, move it and walk.
Crazycap – I know there’s nothing physically wrong with him but I’m not gonna risk my life telling him to move.
Redneckcap – Yeah, that’s a gun rack in the window. Got a problem with where I parked?
Lazycap – Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Bullycap – See Redneckcap.
Tardycap – Next time don’t be late and you’ll have plenty of time to find a legal spot.
Richiecap – Move the Benzo before I key it, pal.
Smellycap – Whoa. What’s that smell? On second thought, the spot’s all yours.
Therearenootheropenspotscap – Sorry, not a valid reason. Write ‘em up.
Got you parking placard yet? Why not…it’s easy. What’s your “handicap?”