75 Things a Man Must Do Before He Dies…

I’m a sucker when it comes to lists. I have been keeping ’em for as long as I can remember. And when I’m not keeping a list, I’m probably thinking I should make a new one that begins, “Remember to start new list.”

You name it, I’ll list it — buy groceries, dump the cat litter, wake up, shave today, get gas, exercise, eat something, go outside, finish a story before deadline, get a haircut, watch FNL, download photos from camera, make flight reservations, call the folks, call the sisters, send cards, remind folks I’m alive and well, feed the cat, do laundry, clean the office, pay bills, drink 4 beers, smile, say hi to a stranger, rent forklift to pick up dirty laundry pile, boycott the computer for a day, etc.

So when I came across this list of “75 Things a Man Should Do Before He Dies” (thanks to our friends at Esquire – pictured above is no. 42), I thought I’d share it. After giving it a quick glance, I deduced I am either close to death (as near as I can figure – honestly – I’ve done, well, let’s just say *cough* over 50 items so there ain’t many more remaining for this guy…), very fortunate (see no.’s 1, 7, 19, 27), not ready to die (see no.’s 46 and 59), stupid (see no.’s 14, 25, 66, 74), and/or a combination of the aforementioned (see no.’s 3, 35, 66, 71).

I have also done a few things a bit differently (see no. 4 and substitute “A-4” for “Cessna”).

And as for reputations (see no. 17), I have a few, I’m sure.

By the way, the second part of no. 25 says “put it back” so that’s why I put a check next to that one (in case you are reading this and have the ability to arrest me).

Oh…one more thing. Please don’t do the math and try to get specific, OK? There are a few items on here that I think I should take to my grave one way or the other. After all, isn’t that the cool part of making a list that involves death?


No. 1: Play rugby.
No. 2: Repair an appliance.
No. 3: Fly the red-eye from Vegas.
No. 4: Fly a Cessna.
No. 5: Make a list of seventy-five things you want to do before you die. It’s hard.
No. 6: Fast for three days. Drink water.
No. 7: Drive the Great Ocean Road in southern Australia. Or the Pacific Coast Highway.
No. 8: Make a perfect omelet.
No. 9: Drive by yourself from coast to coast.
No. 10: Recognize the accomplishments of others.
No. 11: Do a flip off a diving board. Nail it.
No. 12: Leave yourself a letter in a library book. Look for it twenty years later.
No. 13: Watch a bad movie so often that when you see it by accident…
No. 14: Toboggan, aggressively.
No. 15: Scuba dive.
No. 16: Drink mescal in Mexico.
No. 17: Cultivate a reputation.
No. 18: Learn three to four chords on the guitar, until you can play one song.
No. 19: Live in a hotel suite for a week.
No. 20: Milk a cow. Drink that.
No. 21: Build a fence.
No. 22: Carry a totem in your pocket.
No. 23: Help someone dig out.
No. 24: Pick an animal. Something cool like a wolverine. Go see it in the wild.
No. 25: Shoplift.
No. 26: Throw a real party.
No. 27: Live outside the homeland.
No. 28: Stare at something that scares you.
No. 29: Choose a word or a phrase and actively work to never use it again.
No. 30: Eat mussels in Bruges.
No. 31: Break a sheet of plate glass with a ball-peen hammer.
No. 32: Cook the same thing (over and over) until you are known for it.
No. 33: Overspend.
No. 34: Have a threesome.
No. 35: Quit something you love.
No. 36: Take care of someone else’s three-year-old for a day.
No. 37: Get very good at a sport that isn’t a sport.
No. 38: Listen to war stories.
No. 39: Tell war stories.
No. 40: Write someone else’s life story without mentioning yourself.
No. 41: Sing in public.
No. 42: Sell everything you don’t need. Once.
No. 43: Play golf at Carnoustie.
No. 44: Play chess until you beat someone you shouldn’t, then quit forever.
No. 45: Give up your seat.
No. 46: Kill, dress, cook, and eat wild game.
No. 47: Attend the funeral of someone you didn’t know that well.
No. 48: Take a vow. Keep it.
No. 49: Eat a six-course meal that you prepared.
No. 50: Live at a high altitude.
No. 51: Spend some time working for tips.
No. 52: Overeat for a week.
No. 53: Make a movie, even a short one.
No. 54: Give a panhandler all of your money.
No. 55: Make beer, wine, or moonshine.
No. 56: Read Lolita.
No. 57: Have sex in a body of water.
No. 58: Ride a horse.
No. 59: Eat congee. Eat haggis. Eat tongue. Eat kidneys. Eat brain. Eat testicles.
No. 60: Walk twenty miles. Bring water.
No. 61-63: Go to the desert. Take long-lasting drugs. Drink water.
No. 64: Watch television for twenty-four hours uninterrupted.
No. 65: Save something from the dump.
No. 66: Climb something you are afraid of.
No. 67: Get a manicure.
No. 68: Eat a two-course meal that you grew.
No. 69: Get a deep-tissue massage.
No. 70: Sleep outside for a week.
No. 71: Put a hundred bucks on a long shot. To win.
No. 72: Go to Paris. Tell no one where you are. Stay there for two weeks.
No. 73: Raise a dog.
No. 74: Peg the speedometer.
No. 75: Bungee jump.